This is Hailey's favorite Hannah Montana song. Although I think this is about the only line she knows so far, she sings it with gusto all day, every day. And it completely described how I felt this past Saturday, when my little miracle baby turned six.
She still wants to crawl up in my lap and snuggle with her Mama. She still wants us to tuck her into bed each night, and say her prayers with her. She still wants to give me a hug and a kiss goodbye before she goes somewhere. She still says I'm the best mommy in the whole world.
She still wants to hold my hand, sometimes, when we walk together. She still runs to jump in bed with us in the morning. She still has those amazing blue eyes that always remind me that she is my miracle, and I finally have a little piece of me in this world. She still wants me to read stories to her.
But at the same time . . . she doesn't always like being called "my baby." She's not sad when she leaves me to go somewhere. She wants to brush her own hair, and pick out her own clothes (ok, so the clothes thing maybe started when she was 2 1/2). She wants to be a rock star. She rolls her eyes at me.
She wants to walk by herself sometimes, not holding my hand. She stays in bed once in a while, complaining she's too tired to go to school. She has those amazing blue eyes that just add to her beauty. She wants to read stories to me.
For now, I still have the best of both worlds. At least I think so. My baby is still a little bit my baby, a little bit my big girl. It's a good combination, as I'm not yet ready to give up my baby.
And so, my Hailey Bug, on your sixth birthday, I would like you to know . . . that I never want you to forget what a very real miracle your life is. When the doctor told Daddy we wouldn't make it to the hospital before you went to heaven, and that he was very sorry, but there was nothing he could do to save you, he had no idea of the miracle that was growing inside me. We waited so long for you, and you are so worth the wait. You have tripled our sorrows with joy, and then some.
You have a heart that I treasure. When we take in kids that don't have a home of their own, you immediately treat them like they're part of our family. You share everything you have, and don't think twice about giving them one of your prized possessions. You love your little sister with all that you have, and you have the patience of a saint with her. I love the heart you have for these orphaned children, and am excitedly curious how these experiences will shape your future.
You have a giggle that I adore. Rarely cranky, not often complaining, you have sunshine in your soul, and it shines through you. You love to laugh, and you love to have fun. With your silly voices and little dances, you can make even doing the dishes a fun time for all of us.
You are completely beautiful, my bug. It starts on the inside of you, and shines all the way through you. You are beautiful where it counts the most, and where it counts the least. It is a treasure that I get to be your Mama, and I am grateful every day when I hear your bare feet hitting the floor as you get out of bed.
In this year of being six, when you are still my baby, and still my big girl, I want to soak in every second of it. You have truly given me the best of both worlds.